1. |
Automaticity
03:09
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all of the I love yous in the world
precious as a string of plastic pearls
bedazzling the landfill of your pure
intentions
you’re
all
set
to blow your cover
will
you
bet
your life
automatic pilot, rest your eyes
slapstick tightrope sleepwalkers survive
kiss automaticity goodbye, it’s no protection
you
don’t
get
to do this over
you
don’t
get
more time
your words are meaningless if you never put aside your disguise
typing “save me” into a browser window won’t make it alright
so lifelike, when you take
your place
and say what you’re expected to say
in half-light, anyway
some half-baked, half-awake
embrace
waiting for the end of the day
or for a slap in the face
you
don’t
get
to do this over
will
you
bet
your life
unconscious in overdrive
I wanna open my eyes
and see your face in the lights
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2. |
Exquisite Corpse
02:54
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exquisite corpse is the name of a game
I’m not sure i want to play
the best intentions can all go astray
on any portion of that page
it’s a plot made entirely of twists
this brainchild basilisk
together in one place, but none see the same
shattered image, broken frame
A mystery play through the eyes of Man Ray
drink the new wine, eat the deadly nightshade
giving nothing away
exquisite corpse lurches out of the grave
mismatched head and arms and legs
and every part wants to go its own way
issuing the others grades
A mystery play through the eyes of Man Ray
drink the new wine, eat the deadly nightshade
counting glass tears on a passionless face
photogram outlines, negative space
giving nothing away
paper and pen for drawing lines
they separate what’s yours from mine
by design
and the game doesn’t teach trust with more time
A mystery play through the eyes of Man Ray
drink the new wine, eat the deadly nightshade
counting glass tears on a passionless face
photogram outlines, negative space
giving nothing away
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3. |
Last War
03:36
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no such thing, life after history
there’s no sleepwalking security
it’s not Weimar 1933
but it’s not far enough for me
poison courses,
trojan horsemen open doors
while you’re still fighting the last war
for how long?
a carnival for carnivores
and saboteurs
while you’re still fighting the last war
you’ll die fighting the last war
armed with lip service, self parody
usual business, fake sincerity
under siege in your secret city
choking on slow motion remedies
poison courses
trojan horsemen open doors
while you’re still fighting the last war
you’ll die fighting the last war
a carnival for carnivores
and saboteurs
while you’re still fighting the last war
for how long?
what’s the past for
if it looks you in the eye
but the lessons pass you by
when your task force
fails the crash course
console yourself you tried
but i wanna do better than survive
a carnival for carnivores
and saboteurs
while you’re still fighting the last war
for how long?
poison courses
trojan horsemen open doors
while you’re still fighting the last war
you’ll die fighting the last war
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4. |
Gasoline Rainbows
03:30
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gasoline rainbows
over mercury lakes
cataract halos
for illuminated fakes
if life is a series
of narrow escapes
magical thinking
puts a file in every cake
in backwaters of belief
they’ve been sharpening their teeth
wings of angels, satellites
fall burning in the night
vulturine heroes
beguile and betray
dopamine payloads
drive this on-demand doomsday
in backwaters of belief
they’ve been sharpening their teeth
wings of angels, satellites
fall burning in the night
and what good
is the word
of a god
who won’t return
til everything has burned
gasoline rainbows
cataract halos
dopamine payload
down a dead end road
merrily we go
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5. |
Not The End
01:58
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don’t talk to me about the arc of history
as if you know which way it wants to bend
the only thing on which you can depend: this isn’t the end
maybe your emotions are just chemistry
a wilderness of mirrors in your head
desire and despair, just electricity
they descend
and then they rise again
if you wish for an end
or you fear for the end
this isn’t the end
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6. |
Old Soul
03:27
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this was your song
long before you were gone
the words still fight not to come my way
the emptiest space
the memory of your face
an afterimage, out of phase
old soul
the future isn’t ours to know
i walk in circles now, I’m singing to a ghost
with eyes closed
old soul
it’s suddenly a colder world
from which I retrace
connections made and games played
wide eyed, I never was that wise
and home’s not a place
it’s a knowing look, a 4th wall break
gift of a new world through your eyes
old soul
once open doors forever closed
precious cargo in a box of brittle bones
cruel blow
old soul
severed from the fold
old soul
the future isn’t ours to know
I walk in circles, now I’m singing to your ghost
with eyes closed
old soul
severed from the fold
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7. |
A Ray of Sunlight
03:07
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you wake to the ashen morning
painting a red sky warning
waiting on a ray of sunlight
deep in the darkest timeline
climbing the steepest incline
just to feel a ray of sunlight
days slipping through your hands
denying your demands
nothing to help you see more clearly
stripped of your sweet illusions
kissing your cuts and bruises
dying for a ray of sunlight
if you can live through this
cruel metamorphosis
your reward is just a ray of sunlight
days slipping through your hands
denying your demands
nothing to help you see more clearly
the more you understand
pain is in the plan
cont disconnect from every feeling
they want all roads to lead home
with prizes at the end for everyone
but you just stand here, staring at the sun
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8. |
Deception Island
02:12
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cold open with no land in sight
a technicolor ocean, cracking ice
a nightmare
family, frozen mannequins
who couldn’t save me if i swam to them
don’t let the dream end
I’ll reach Deception Island
or die before I wake
is this where I was born to be
it feels more real than waking life to me
back there
on shrinking ice, on blue-black waves
real memories fade, childhood nightmare replays
don’t let the dream end
I’ll reach Deception Island
or die before I wake
nothing peaceful in this silence
only storms on the horizon
and we all
want
some deus ex machina
to come and save the day
then the dream ends
and there’s an ocean in between us
I watch you drift away
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9. |
Sonder
03:14
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sonder is insane
takes your breath away
stories endlessly overlaid
coarse in your veins
of course, in vain
the wonder and the shame
detachment falls away
when you need someone else to blame
you drop the reins
no momentary grace
no hiding place
no world away
faith
in parallel decay
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10. |
Open Mind
04:18
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red carnations blooming on the ceiling
the face in center frame, concealed, revealing
the prison of the sane, the fear of feeling
I salute your steady aim, Amanda Feilding
wipe the blood
from your eyes
let in a little light
everybody wants a bit more life
open mind
open heart
beats in your brain, beautiful changeling
stone extraction, gory action painting
wipe the blood
from your eyes
let in a little light
everybody wants a bit more life
open mind, open mind
and then a certain peace, a kind of returning
she rose within herself, more brightly burning
proof of life
cross a line
let in a little light
everybody says they want more life
open mind, open mind
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11. |
Dead Eyed God
05:21
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greed and grievance, reptile brain
grafted to a rotting frame
a swizz by any other name
doctrine of a dead-eyed god
reward and punish, pride and shame
winners learn to work the game
losers born to take the blame
for the judgment of a dead-eyed god
whose blessing is a hole that hides you
whose mercy blinds you
alabaster idyll, violence and fear define you
so white
and cold
a mold
to remake you
in the image of a dead-eyed god
boys, so proud to make the most
of your abusive father’s ghost
with dreams of knife-fight sacrifice
to feed a dead-eyed god
who populates ex nihilo
this nihilistic rodeo
with wolves and sheep, the weak and bold
bled white for a dead-eyed god
whose blessing is a hole that hides you
whose mercy blinds you
alabaster idyll, violence and fear confine you
so white
and cold
a mold
to remake you
in the image of a dead-eyed god
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J. Robbins Baltimore, Maryland
J. Robbins has been the singer/guitarist and principal songwriter in several DC-and-Baltimore-area post-punk rock bands
since the late 1980s, most notably Jawbox, Burning Airlines, and Channels. He is also owner and operator of the Magpie Cage recording studio in Baltimore MD.
T-shirts and other J. Robbins-related merch are available at www.shirtkiller.com/jrobbins
Photo by Shane Gardner
... more
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